Burn A Candle For Me
by RizGriz
Summary: A/U where after the events of Civil War, Bucky is left dead and Steve made a decision. Suicide. Death!Fic. STUCKY! I INTEND TO DO A REWRITE, BUT DON"T HOLD YOUR BREATHE!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I only own my plot.

A/N: Not Beta Read!

Please review! Only the second fic I've done like this (you'll see in the end.) so it may be crappy.

Steve sat quietly on his bed sketching in his notebook and fingering the cold metal when he heard a knock on the door. He quickly shoved the revolver under the pillow. It was only a warning before the landlady walked in carrying the day's mail. She constantly tried to find one piece that belonged to him (actually the name he was currently using), but not one had ever granted her wish true. After she finished sorting, having yet another unsuccessful day, began scolding him for a lack of mail. However, she soon left to finish the "all-important" mail rounds.

The landscape he had been aimlessly drawing resumed its position as priority in Steven's mind. He felt no concern, worry, or fear of what was to unfold later that afternoon. With Bucky gone and everyone split into their separate paths there was no reason for any of that.

He has spent past three weeks trying to figure out what his next step was until he had arrived at his current situation. It may have seemed extreme but deep down he had always felt this is how it would end. He would end. Most people would try and mend things with people and complete unfinished business, but everyone he _really_ loved would be waiting for him on the side.

Steve turned the page in his notebook and wrote a few simple lines. Once he was finished, the letter was tucked into an envelope to be mailed away.

Now he stood atop a random roof and watched as the sun slowly sank down. He held his Rosary in his left and the revolver in his right hand. Then slowly rose it to his temple. Took one deep breath, closed his eyes for the last time…. _BANG._

Two day later Tony received a small letter from Steve. The envelope was too small to hold anything dangerous, so nothing more than a few empty words could be inside. When he opened it the slip of paper inside held confusing words.

 _Tony,_

 _I can't be the last. I won't. Check the news_

 _from around the address. Please, don't_

 _make it public. Burn a candle._

 _-Steven_

He checked….. He understood… He cried. But could never bring himself to burn a candle for the man he once knew.

A/N: REVIEW, PLEASE!


	2. Chapter 2: Epilogue 1

Three weeks later….

"Tony, why did you ask us to come here? And where is here, exactly?"

"Calm down Wilson, no one knows that I asked you here to talk to me. And here is somewhere SHIELD has no eyes." As Tony said this he took up pacing the pavement of the highway where he had asked Wilson, Wanda, and Lang to meet him. He had news that they had to hear.

Scott and Wilson were staring between Tony and Pepper, who was standing next to him with an unsettling look on her face, while Wanda averted her gaze and was lost in thought. She knew something wasn't right. So she asked.

"Something is wrong. Something is wrong or else Steve would be here." Tony stopped pacing at her words. Then he looked her in the eyes and spoke mostly to her.

"After you guys split up Steve and Barnes went to Wakanda. Barnes was put in cyro freeze and then Steve left. Only about a week later something happened and Barnes died, then Steve found out and killed himself." There was a pregnant pause as everyone stared a Tony. All but Wanda who was gazing off into the distance.

"I felt that something was wrong, and I tried to call but no one picked up." Everyone's attention had been turned Wanda as spoke, still staring at the distant horizon, "I should have known Steve did something stupid. I should have known."

"How did you find out?" is was Scott's turn to speak his mind.

"He sent a letter the day he committed." Then Tony cleared his throat, which was clogging with emotion, "would you like to see?"

" _Yes"_

So Tony brought out the letter and passed to the three waiting friends of the deceased.

When Wanda read it she nearly choked with emotion…

"Do you know what he meant by 'I can't be the last. I won't be'?"

"Yes," it was the faintest of whispers. The kind that gets carried off with the wind before anyone but the intended hears. "He once told me that he didn't want to be the last to have seen the things he had seen and do the things he had done."

 _The wind blew, and sent a shiver down their spines. And yet all was still._ _.._


	3. Chapter 3: Epilogue 2

A/N: Hwy guys! Hope you're excited about another epilogue because I have another one that will be published after this, so, ya… *nervous laughter*

 ** _PLEASE R &R_**

" _At one in the morning Tony could not sleep so Pepper joined him in the living room of the penthouse._

"Tony, you need to call Nat."

"I know, I know, I just really don't want to have two of the world's greatest assassins pissed with me and blame me for all this shit that has been going down lately."

"I know but they cared about Steve and they deserve to know."

"You want to call now? Pepper, you're crazy! It's one in the morning!"

"Not at Clint's farm it isn't."

"Why would Clint be at his farm? Shield knows where that is."

"His _family_ is there." Staring contest ensued.

"Why, Pepper, why?"

"Because they are your friends, Steve was your friend, it has already been three and half weeks since you got his note, and I'm your wife so you have to listen to me."

Tony couldn't look her in the eye after she said that. For three weeks he had tried his best to ignore the fact that his friend was dead and there was no amount of money that could fix that. He had spent most of his time around Steve shove insults and jokes into his face while also constantly commenting on how incapable he was with new technology. In truth he wasn't sure if he would have been able to transition into a new era as well as Steve had.

Tony couldn't help but feel that he had a part to play in Steve's demise. It pained him more than he would like to admit and he had spent three weeks trying to prove that and still was tonight. But it was a losing battle and it didn't help that even after he and Pepper had informed Lang, Maximoff, and Wilson he still had to tell "Tasha and Clint.

Those were the ones he dreaded the most. Steve and Natasha were very close, and she would take Barton with her anywhere (the whole "civil war," as it was being pinned, was one of the few exceptions) and they were a deadly pair.

But Pepper wasn't relenting:

"You should also tell peter too. I think he should know that you don't come through unscathed." Pepper lightly touched Tony on the shoulder, snapping him out of the daze he had been in. he had been going into more of these trance-like states since he received the note from Steve telling him that the strongest, most dependable, steadiest person in Tony's life had found an out and took it. Leaving Tony with another person that abandoned him.

He snapped his head to look at her.

"Pepper, do you really thing that kid needs to know someone he was just fighting a month ago is dead? Really? Would you want to hear that?" the sincerity in his eyes spoke volumes that he had been attempting to hide for almost a month.

 _So of course_ she used wit to reply.

"Well I was not expecting that. Normally you don't care about one time acquaintances." A light smirk played across her face.

He could tell she was playing him, so he answered back with a combo of wit and truth.

"He is just "a baby" as you like to say, and he doesn't need to be scared for life with something like _this_." His voice was laced with raw emotion as he ended his sentence.

"You should anyways." With that Pepper took a deep breath and stood to retrieve the phone off the counter.

She held it out to him and cocked her head to the side with a light pout.

"I'll be here for you the whole time, you know that right?"

"Ya, I know I just..."

"It doesn't matter now. Now you just have to make this call. That's it, Tony."

He took the phone from her and dialed Romanoff before putting the phone on speaker.

" _Hello, Romanoff speaking."_

"Hey 'Tasha, it's Stark. We need to talk about something, but first how could I get ahold of Clint?"

" _Sure,"_ she backed away from the phone and called out to someone. _"He's coming….. I'm gonna put it on speaker phone, k? K, so what do you need to talk about?"_

"Steve's dead….. Barnes went onto cyro freeze and died and when Steve found out he did himself in…. can someone really care that much?"

" _You didn't know?"_

"Know, what?" despite the peeking interest in Tony's voice, Natasha was hesitant to divulge any further

"Nat, what don't I know?"

" _They were a ….thing…."_

"A thing?"

" _Together kinda thing,"_ Clint had now chimed in to the conversation to give some clarity to Tony and Pepper. _"Even saw them kiss once. The whole situation is pretty clear when you look at the picture."_

Now it was Peppers turn to be intrigued. "What do you mean by that, Clint?"

" _Well look at it this way: Steve woke up in a new century and had no one he knew. Then Barnes walked into the picture. Steve finally had something –sorry, someone- from his time and then he was gone as fast as he came. It pushed him over the edge. These things happen to even the best of people."_

There was nothing to be said. So Tony looked at Pepper with a look of regret and sorrow in his eyes. Pepper took the hand of his closest to her ad held it tightly as Tony stared at the phone.

"Did he ever tell you anything else? Anything important?" and now it was Natasha's turn to speak words that were unexpected.

" _I overheard them once say that when it was all over they would find a country to get married in. They were serious."_

"Oh… I had no idea," There was a pregnant pause as Tony contemplated. "Do you think I should tell peter? Pepper thinks he should know, but I'm not sure."

" _At the very least give him a call to see if he's heard anything and make your decision based off of what you hear from him. It's all_ _circumstantial."_

"Thanks nat."

 _And as the phone call ended, a silent glance was passed between Tony and Pepper as both their hearts skipped a beat at the thought of losing each other._

 ** _PLEASE R &R_** _There_ **are ekittens for anyone who does! (also ekitten to the Guest reviewer!)**


	4. Chapter 4: Epilogue 3

_A/N: In this A/U Sharon and Steve weren't together. Just Stucky. However, only Natasha and Clint knew about them being together before they told Tony._

 _Twenty-two hours after Tony's call with Natasha and Clint he got up the nerve to visit Peter Parker._

Tony walk up the steps and onto the front porch of the spry residence with only a small, muffled tap from his shoes. 'Apparently they're in the same mood I am,' was all he cared to think about. But life isn't so kind, and he had to think about how and what he was going to tell peter – if anything at all.

But he did knock on the door. Aunt may answer the door, but that wasn't unexpected.

'Mrs. Parker, do you mind if I speak to peter again?' he plastered a light smile on his face for appearances.

'Oh, yes I'll call him down from his room. He's just doing homework." She had a light smile that play softly across her face that didn't seem fitting for the occasion. But she left, taking the unfit smile with her.

When peter came down the stairs he ushered the couple out to the front porch, assuring his aunt that he would only be a few minutes.

"Hi Mr. stark, what are you doing here?" peter was nervous and began wringing his hands. His aunt had let tony and pepper talk to him, and he had a feeling of what this conversation was going to be about.

"Well, um…" tony took a pause as he chose his words carefully. " The Captain killed himself about three weeks ago, and we wanted you to know. I didn't think you should know but everyone else did." There was a flash of guilt came across peter's face.

"Did you know, peter?"

"I _should_ have known…"

"How should you have peter?" peter began walking away and towards his room. After a few moments, peter came back with his phone.

"Captain Rogers called me not long before he must have done it. It all makes sense, the way he was talking and all. I started recording just after I figured out who he was." Laying the phone down on the table he started a recording of a phone call. The words were chilling.

"Why are you calling me?"

" _Because we need to talk about some things that will happen if you chose to continue using your abilities."_

"I'll tell S.H.E.I.L.D. and they will find you."

" _That doesn't matter."_

"Why?"

" _Because too much shit has gone down since we last spoke, and S.H.E.I.L.D. doesn't matter anymore. They can't touch me."_

"What about your buddy?"

" _Bucky?"_

"Yeah, what about him?"

" _Doesn't matter,"_

"How so?"

" _Because things are going to happen, and then Tony will come to you, and you'll give him this recording."_

"How did you know I was recording?"

" _Because you're a smart ass kid who knows that what I say might be important."_

"Fine, so what do you have to say to me about my hobbies?"

" _You're going to get hurt-"_

"Is that a threat?"

" _No, it's the truth. You're going to get hurt in a lot of different ways. Physically and emotionally. Your aunt should know what you do."_

"If I tell her she'll freak!"

" _Maybe, but isn't that better that never knowing? Look, one day you will end up in a hospital – or God forbid and morgue, and she should understand why."_

"I can't tell Aunt May!"

" _Why?"_

"What?"

" _Why can't you tell aunt may? It's a simple question, peter. Why?"_

"Because…..beca-… I don't know."

" _Exactly. So go and tell her. She might freak at first, but she loves you. And when people love you, they support you."_

"How would you know?"

" _No one wanted me to join the army, but when I finally got in, my family supported me. And when I got to Europe and saw Bucky for the first time, he was really angry, but he accepted that it had been my decision. He understood why I did what I did. That is love."_

"Love? That is what you call it?"

" _Yes. I believe love is accepting of what others we love do that we have no control over."_

"Is this the only reason you called?"

" _Not entirely, but it was a main factor I called you and not someone else."_

"So what else do you have you have to tell me, _Capt'n_?"

" _There are….. Side effects… to our job. And it can affect you for a very long time. You need to find people that can help you. I've seen it time and time again. They would send boys that were practically children out into the battlefield just to get slaughtered. Whether or not it is mentally or physical didn't matter. Just that they do their job and 'die in honor.'"_

"Is that all, _sir_."

" _Yeah, since you clearly aren't listening."_

Exactly four weeks after Steve finished his life, James and him were buried in the graveyard of a small church in upstate New York.

It was a small procession, but even so it was meaningful. Scott, Rhodey, Peter, and Hill had been reluctant to come and each had their own reasons, but they came anyways.

Tony and Natasha were static. Peter, Scott, and Laura were fidgeting with anxiety. However, pepper, Rhodey, Wanda, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Vision, Sam, T'challa, Sharon, Coulson, and Hill understood the significance of this day to the others. They had had to this for other colleagues and friends.

They had all known Steve and James in one way or another. Even if it had not been in the best of light. T'challa had the burden of being the one responsible for Bucky's death in a way.

It was a quiet graveside service on a somber October morning, and a slow drizzle splattered on black umbrellas as the Priest read Psalms 23. Everything seemed to play out in slow motion as the heavy words were recited by the Priest and the entire procession bowed their in silent prayer. Even Thor joined.

The Priest left the group of people to be alone in the somber grave yard.

Natasha left first to wait for Clint and Laura in the car. Tony and pepper were next, but they did not wait for anyone. They just left. Sam made a lame excuse about how he was expected elsewhere, and left hurriedly. Then Clint and Laura joined Natasha in the car before driving away. They slowly filed out to the cars until it was just Wanda, and King T'challa.

So the King walked to Wanda and spoke to her in a low voice.

"They are together now. They believed that they would go to a place where they would be happy and safe from the pain of this world. They are safe." He placed a hand on her shoulder and stood a somber moment before leaving her in thought.

Wanda had felt a connection of shared loss and anguish between Steve and herself. And when James returned she felt overjoyed at the chance for one of them to find peace. And she saw how they belonged with each other. They understood the ache that came from a lifetime of being tired in your soul.

It had hurt her to know that Barnes had chosen to undergo cyro freeze again. However, Steve had loved him enough to let him go for the time being. She felt as though that might always be her definition of love, and she didn't mind that at all.

She understood that everyone would have their own process of accepting the loss. Tony had nearly finished his time of mourning. Ones like Scott would move on quickly, having not known them well. And Sam would take it to his group with the explanation of having a friend commit.

Wanda would just leave the pair in peace. They were at rest. At peace. The War was finally over, and they were home with their families and each other. No longer fighting the good fight, or haunted by the past, the present, the future.

 _She stood tall and saluted before turning to walk away, leaving them to rest in peace. The wind blew over the rolling field, only hampered by the stone church in the center, and all the little grave markers standing like old men._

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 **2** He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

 **3** He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

 **4** Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

 **5** Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

 **6** Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

A/N: So I know that suicide is like an unforgivable sin in Catholicism (try saying that three times fast and not using google to find out how to say it!), but for this application I wanted them to have discernable religion.

Also, I don't know if you noticed, because you may not have, but in the first chapt. We see Steve and his motivations w/ some 'look tony has feels'. In chapt. two, we feel for Steve's friends (AKA Scott, Sam, and most deeply Wanda.). In chapt. three, we get the truth about why Steve went so far while also get tony/pepper feels. And in chapt. four tony has come full circle and we get from Peter the guilt of not saying anything, and from Wanda the connection she felt.

AND A HUGE SHOUT OUT TO GEUST AND BREE COLBERN FOR ASKING ME TO DO MORE CHAPTERS!

PLEASE R&R ON THIS LAST CHAPTER! AND CALL SOMEONE YOU LOVE!

Also, I'm changing the pic to be a field somewhat like I see in my head.


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